I had the
most wonderful mother on earth. She
wrote a short history of her life in her journal and she made me a book several
years before she died that had information about things she enjoyed as a child
and what her life was like. I am so glad
she gave it to me, because it gives lots of little details she didn’t include
in her history. Her journal and the
things she wrote about her mother give a glimpse of the kind of person she was.
I feel like it would be a shame if I didn’t put together the story that she
left, with the things that I remember, so that her descendants can know the
wonderful person she was.
My mother, Fae* Ann Cooper was born on November 25, 1930 in a 2-story red brick house in
Panguitch, Utah. She was the eighth
child born to Nathaniel Cooper and Isabell Church. Her brothers and sisters were Thad (who was
stillborn), Grace, Gwen, James Nathaniel, Grant H., Jean, and Mae LaRee. Her father was a sheepherder and was gone from
home a lot of the year, but her family would spend part of the summer with him
at the sheep camp. They all rode horses
and enjoyed the mountains. She said, “I
think the thing I remember most is the way my family all loved me. I was the baby sister of six kids who really
spoiled me. My life was very happy throughout
my childhood years and always because I was born of goodly parents and had 4
sisters and 2 brothers.”
The family
moved to their Grandmother Church’s 2-story house at the south end of town to
take care of her in her elderly age and stayed in her house after she died. The house had a large lawn and a porch clear
across the front. Her mother and friends
used to sit there and visit in the evenings.
The kids
loved to play on the large porch and lawn.
They played games of ball, ‘Mother, May I,’ ‘Run, My Sheepy, Run,’ ‘Kick
the Can & Call,’ and ‘House.’ There
was a nice fence all around the lot with a railing top which they enjoyed
walking around, often falling straddle.
They had a large granary out back, which had an upstairs. “That is where we would put on our shows
(where I was always the star),” she said, “Charging a penny or an egg for
tickets.” They raised a cow, 2 pigs, and
chickens. Mom loved gathering the eggs
each day.
The house
had 2 bedrooms upstairs, one for the boys, and one for the girls. “Because we
had 7 kids, I didn’t really have my own room.
We slept 3 in a bed. Mother fixed
up a dresser for us with a pretty yellow skirt around it. We had a white (like brass beds) full-sized
bed. We loved to jump on it when Mom
wasn’t looking. We had heavy quilts on
our bed – nights were cold and our house was heated with a wood and coal
stove.”
When she was
2 years old she almost drowned in an irrigation ditch. She said she never liked water after that. She never learned to swim. Though they didn’t
have much when they were kids, she said that her favorite toy was her tricycle,
and later her two-wheeled bike and roller skates. She always had a cat. All of them were white except Fredrick, who
was black and white. Some of the names
of her cats were Fredrick, Andrea, Mitzy, Missy, and Mindy.
She had many
fond memories of her mother when she was young.
“I remember how you used to rock me when I was 5 or 6 years old and how
we’d sing. You, Mae and I used to lay in
bed in the morning and sing or you’d tell us stories of your childhood. I can still almost see the old Indians you
told us about. You taught us many songs
and poems at that time.”
“On our
birthdays, Mom would make ‘stretch candy,’ peanut butter fudge, and punch &
cookies. Kids would usually give a
nickel for their present or 10 cents if they were special friends. Our favorite games were ‘Post Office’ and
‘Spin the Bottle.’ I always loved
birthday parties.”
When Mom was
little she took dance lessons and her mother taught her to sing. Her family had beautiful singing voices and her
mother sang in many programs and funerals in town, so it was natural that Mom would
also sing. When she was 5 years old, she and her mother and sister went to Tooele to see her
sister, Gwen who lived there. They were
having a talent show at the park on Main and Vine Street. Gwen insisted that she sing in it. She always played the piano for her. Mom sang a Shirley Temple song, “When I Grow
Up,” and won 2nd Place, a $5 prize, with which she bought a
beautiful red silk pair of
pajamas. On
this same trip, they went to Saltair swimming and went on the fun rides
there. It was really exciting to her.
Mom attended
Kindergarten in the Presbyterian Church that was located on Main Street about
Third North. Miss Paul and Miss Grow
opened the doors of the church to the children who were kindergarten age. She went to Panguitch Elementary School from
grades 1-6. She always loved
school. She made a very good friend
starting in Kindergarten who remained her best friend through graduation. Her name was Doris Walker.
The
following description of the Panguitch School comes from the history of Mom’s
cousin, Lena Ipson. “The Panguitch
School on Center Street and 2nd East had a basement with 4
classrooms and a boy’s restroom. The
ground floor had about 6 classrooms and a girl’s restroom, then there was a
flight of stairs that went halfway up, where a principal’s office was located,
and then made a turn and on to the top floor with 4 classrooms for the 5th
and 6th grades. One day at
school (in 3rd grade), during a thundershower, we heard a loud noise
and a crack, but since we were experiencing a thundershower we just continued
on with what we were doing. A knock
sounded on our classroom door and we were instructed we were going to have a
fire drill. We all moaned a bit because
we didn’t want to go out in the rain, but we lined up and speedily marched out
without our coats as instructed. When we
got outside we were surprised to see the town fire truck coming. We looked up and discovered our schoolhouse
was on fire from a lightning strike. We
could see flames coming from a hole in the roof. It was very frightening. School was out for the day and we were
instructed to go home but it was more fun to stay and watch the fire
fighters. We attended school in the
South Ward (LDS church building) until repairs were made on the school.”
The kids
usually walked to school when it was good weather. Mom’s sister Gwen or her husband Lynn would
take her in bad weather. (My grandmother
never learned to drive and didn’t have a car.)
“In the winter we had to wear long-legged underwear, with what we called
‘barn doors’ to enable us to go to the bathroom,” she said. “We also, most of the winters, wore long
cotton, black stockings. We couldn’t
wait ‘til we got to school so we could roll them down around our ankles. We couldn’t wear pants (trousers) to school
then. It was very cold in Panguitch, but
I don’t remember noticing it much then.”
When I was
in the 5th grade, I was a typical fun loving little girl. I took tap dancing, piano lessons, loved to
sing, and just loved life. My teacher
was John S. Crosby, and I remember he wrote on my report card, “Fae Ann is
doing very well in school, she could talk a little less and not hurt our class
any.” So I guess I loved to talk, as
most little girls do.
As the year
progressed, I developed a slight limp, Mother was concerned about it because my
older brother, Jim had “Perthese Disease,” a hip disorder. She took me to the local Dr. Haymond, and he
said he thought I needed my tonsils out, so after school was out, I think this
was the spring of 1942, they took them out, also at this time the doctor took an X-ray of my hips and he confirmed that I had Perthese like my brother. He told Mother to keep me off my feet for 6
months. This disturbed us very much
because it meant I would have to discontinue dancing and curtailing all other
activities as well as not being able to start to the 6th grade that
fall. I had so looked forward to being a
big 6th grader, but this would not be.
Mother was
so very patient and kind to me. She got
all the necessary materials from the school and was to be my tutor. Mom had taught school in Hatch Town, before
she was married, so this experience would help her very much in teaching me.
As I look
back on those days, I can remember a very tender, and loving and concerned
mother who gave her very all to me, both in love and in teaching. Not only did Mom teach me my school lessons,
she also taught me how to sew, how to read music, how to chord on the piano,
how to sing alto, she was my teacher and also my very best friend. Is it any wonder why I love and cherish her
memory so very much?
After
spending 6 months off my feet, (I couldn’t even hop on one leg, because they
said my hip needed constant rest) the doctor took an X-ray of my hip again and found it
wasn’t any better. So they decided to
put my leg in traction for 6 weeks. They
raised the foot of my bed 12 inches higher than my head and put 10 pounds of
weight on my leg thus pulling the hip socket out, so it would give the bone a
chance to heal. This was very hard on
me, and I know now how it must have been heart breaking to my mother.
I had a
sister, Mae who was 5 years older than me, and she was so very sweet and kind to
me. We were the very best of friends,
then and always since. I got so I
wouldn’t eat anything but macaroni and tomato juice, and if anyone would ask what
they could bring to me, I would always say, “Nibbs.” I just loved those licorice candies.
After the 6
weeks were up and there was no progress in my condition, they decided to let me
get up on crutches. So they had Mother
get my one shoe with a-inch lift on it, so my bad leg would not touch the
floor, thus enabling me to hold it up easier.
I was able to go back to school now that I was on crutches.
It was
wintertime and my brothers were working in California in the ship yards,
because the war was on. They thought it
would help me if Mom, Mae and I went down there. I attended school there in Harbor City and we
stayed there about 3 months. I believe
Grant was drafted in the Army. The
warmer climate had not helped my condition any, it seemed.
Mother had
heard of a Crippled Children’s Clinic in Salt Lake City, so after pondering it
in her heart and discussing it with Dad, they decided I should go to see
specialists in the city. The doctor I
went to was Dr. Tyree. He was very kind
and nice to me. I just loved him. He carefully examined me and came to the
conclusion I should be put in a cast.
So, the next morning Mom took me to the LDS Hospital and they put a cast
on from underneath my arms to the tip of my one toe, on the one leg. It had to dry overnight, so I had to stay in
the hospital. I didn’t sleep a wink I
was so scared, and also worried about poor Mom alone in the Wilson Hotel.
I remember
the two doctors that put the cast on said it was a very bad case of
Perthese. I didn’t tell Mom they said
that, I didn’t want to worry her. It was
hard getting used to this heavy cast, and I found that I got very tired
easily. I had it on for 6 months, then
they took an X-ray again and put a shorter one on from my knee, to my
underarms. I had this on for 3
months. I will never forget how hot it
got and itchy too. I hated having it
on. I always wore pants to cover it up.
I was now in
the 7th grade at school and Ellis Crosby was my teacher. He did all he could to help me catch up with
the class. I remember that there was a
couple of women who went to the School Board and thought I shouldn’t be allowed
to be promoted, since I hadn’t attended school that much. So, Mr. Crosby gave our class a big math
examination consisting of all phases of math, fractions, decimals included, and
I passed one of the highest in the class.
I had had a very good tutor, my
mom. I didn’t know they were testing all
the class to find out where I stood, I would have probably really been scared
if I had known. Anyway, they didn’t have
any more to say about whether I should be promoted or not.
My sister
and brother-in-law, Gwen and Lynn Davis, moved out of town, and they suggested
to Mother that she, Mae and I move into their home on Main Street so I could
ride the school bus to school each day.
This worked out just great because, otherwise, I may not have been able
to attend school because we lived quite a distance from the school, and we
didn’t have a car. By the time I got my
cast off, they moved back to Panguitch, so we went back home to live, but every
morning either Gwen or Lynn would pick me up and take me to and from
school. They also saw to it that I went
to movies and other types of entertainment.
I shall be forever grateful to both of them.
We went back
to Salt Lake to the clinic to get the cast off after having it on for 9 months,
and they took an X-ray again and called Mother in by herself for a progress
report. They told Mother that I would
never walk again. Can you imagine how
very terrible she must have felt? They had
assured her all along that I would be as good as new someday. Now this bad news. She didn’t tell me this for quite some
time. She knew how it would upset
me. They told her to take me home and
have me start putting weight on my leg.
My poor little leg was so shriveled up I just wondered if it would ever
return to normal. I just can’t even
imagine how very troubled my mother must have been knowing that I was never to
walk again. Of course, she and I were
alone in Salt Lake. Dad was at the sheep
herd most of the time.
I’m sure Mom
felt desperate with knowing I would never walk again and live a normal life,
but she never gave up. She had me have a
Patriarchal Blessing and sent my name to all of the temples, and of course she
fasted and prayed on my behalf. I
remember that it was October 10th when they told me to start putting
weight on my leg. This was harder than I
thought it would be.
I was in the
8th grade now and friends were beginning to go to dances and
parties. I really felt cheated, now more
than before, because I had looked forward to being a teenage and doing these
things. I finally decided I would walk
on one crutch, and eventually I went to the dance. This was really hard on me to watch the kids
all having fun and me sitting there with my crutch under the bench yearning to
join in on the fun. Everyone else having
fun, and me crippled. I cried many times
about my misfortune.
Oh how I
hated it when people would stare at me and wonder what was wrong with me. I got so upset a couple of times that I even
hit a little kid with my crutch because they were staring. I didn’t like being different and being
stared at. I just wanted to be like the
rest of my friends. Why did this have to
happen to me?
I began
singing duets with a good friend of mine, Doris Walker. She was the best friend a girl could ever
have. She was always so sweet and gentle
to me. It was hard on me to get up in
front of an audience on crutches, but Mom encouraged me to do it, and I am glad
now that I did because it helped me to have a little self- confidence, though
not much at this time.
I’ll never
forget one night I was at a dance and I just knew I could dance if I had my arm
on my partner’s waist to balance me. One
of my friends who had always been very kind to me, came up and asked me if I
would like to dance. It was Glen
Owens. I put my crutch under the bench,
and got up and he helped me on the dance floor.
I was scared but never had been more excited. I found I could dance once more. I’ll never forget Glen for helping me find
the courage to try again. From then on,
boys would ask me to dance, and after the dance I would get on my old crutch
and go home.
It seems
that I just gradually got so I could walk without my crutch. I seemed to get around better all the
time. Before too long, I was actually
walking like everyone else. My mother’s
faith and prayers had worked.
A few months
after that we had an appointment in Salt Lake again at the clinic. They saw that I didn’t have a crutch and
asked me to walk across the floor. They
were totally amazed. This was the little
girl who would never walk again! They
told Mother they didn’t know what had happened, but it was out of their
hands. She knew what had happened. A miracle had been performed.
When I was
recovering (those years), I had many nice gifts given to me. The two I remember most were a Charley
McArthy doll. I was the envy of the
neighborhood. I was also given a small
accordion, which I really enjoyed. My
sister Grace, who lived in California, sent me an adorable doll. It was the first ‘magic skin’ doll I had ever
seen. It was just like a real baby. I also had a Betsy Wetsy doll that I loved.”
Mom had many
honors and opportunities while growing up.
I think she really loved to sing and perform. “When I was about 8 years old, our primary
put on the play ‘Hansel & Gretel.’ I
was Gretel. It was really fun. When I was 13, I had a lead part in a dance
review. I had a darling Mexican long
dress and head dress and lots of jewelry.
I did the Cha Cha. I also took
many honors in typing, shorthand, etc.”
She also sang in just about every program that was held in
Panguitch. The Garfield County News
printed her name many times for singing in a program. “I had many opportunities also in music. I sang duets with one of my special friends,
Doris Walker, also my sister Mae, my brother Jim and also with my mom. My sister Gwen usually played for us. I played the trumpet in the high school band. It was fun.
I guess music was my greatest asset.”
She was also selected to sing in the All State Chorus singing at BYU in Provo
and in the Tabernacle in Salt Lake which was an honor, and she sang with
another good friend, Jean Moore, in her high school graduation. The song was “Our Yesterdays.” Her dad was there and heard her sing for the
first time in public. She was so happy.
After she
recovered from her hip ailment, she probably felt like the ‘new girl’ in town. “I loved being a teenager because I had
always looked forward to going to dances.
I just lived for the dances in high school, 49ers dance in April (every
year), the 4th and 24th of July dances, race meets and
dances, of course the dances at Christmas time.” Her brother-in-law, Lynn Davis always drove
them to the out of town dances. She often
talked about how fun the dances were. “I
loved going to dances at Purple Haze and Circleville. I really liked the boys down there, they were
great dancers.”
Mom really
enjoyed high school. “I was very
popular, and had all kinds of boyfriends.
When I was a sophomore, I was voted Queen of the Harvest Ball (I was the
youngest contestant). I was very happy
and surprised. When I was a Junior in
school, I was co-editor of the school yearbook, ‘The Argasy.’ I was Vice President of the Student Body in
my senior year. When I was a senior I
was voted by both the Blue and the White parties to run for Queen of our
graduation – with a different boy for King on each party. I really felt proud to be liked so much by my
many friends. I would like my children
to know I learned that being everyone’s friend was very important for one’s
happiness.”
Mom’s class,
the class of ‘49 was the first to graduate from “Panguitch High School” as the
name had changed from “Garfield High School” that year. Graduation was held on Wednesday, May 23,
1949 in the South Ward LDS Church building.
The girls wore white caps and gowns and the boys wore blue. Afterward was the Graduation Ball where she
was the queen. “I went with a real nice
kid. I had a beautiful white formal and
he bought me a gorgeous orchid.”
Being
everyone’s friend and being kind to others was something she would live by the
rest of her life. She was everyone’s
friend. The people in Panguitch were
always so happy to see her when she went to visit. She talked to everyone she saw. She made special visits to her mother’s
friends. Whenever we were traveling
through towns where relatives lived, she took time to stop and see them. She often sent letters and cards to others,
and rarely missed a birthday. If someone
was sick, she took them a gift or sent them a card to let them know she was
thinking of them. She was very
thoughtful.
"I am
so thankful for the precious moments I spent with mom. I always tried to live up to my mother's
expectations. I could never have done anything that she did not approve
of. She was so very happy all the time
even though she had many troubles to cope with, raising her family. This was a good example for me to follow
because I was taught by example to try and face the day with a song and to be
happy no matter what took place. I have
tried to follow this example because there is no one I'd rather pattern my life
after than my dear mother. I like the
saying of President Lincoln, "For all that I am, or ever hope to be, I owe
to my Angel Mother." She gave her
all to me throughout my entire life. I
owe much love and thanks to my dear sisters and brothers, as well as my dear
mom and dad. I always knew they all
loved me very much and would do all in their power to make me happy."
“I was all
set to go away to college after graduation from high school, but as the time
drew near, I couldn’t think of leaving home and my sweet mother, so I stayed in
Panguitch. I worked a little in a café
there. Each quarter I would decide to go
to college but just couldn’t make up my mind to leave home. Finally I did go to BAC in Cedar City for
spring quarter.”
“The first
day I was there, my room-mates introduced me to a handsome, tall, dark and curly
haired young man who they called ‘Rosie.’
I thought Rosie was going to be a girl, but when I got to the car, ‘Rosie’
turned out to be my future husband. He
asked me for a date the first time I met him.
I really quite liked him, but I was waiting for a boyfriend who was in
the Navy.”
“We married
while in college, January 12, 1951. We
lived on the campus in the college trailers.
We had a lot of fun with the other couples living there also. He was very nice to me all the time. Fourteen months later, we had our first baby
boy. We named him Donald Lynn. He was a beautiful baby. We had a nice apartment in Cedar City. Don was on the police force and working for
the City part-time. My sister (Mae) in
Tooele asked us why we didn’t move to Tooele where there was lots of work –
which we did when our baby was 2 months old.
This was truly a new beginning for us, leaving our dear folks behind in
southern Utah.”
Years later,
she wrote about that experience. She
said, “I think of the day I went to Cedar City to school, how empty I felt as
you drove away. Although I had a
wonderful time, I still almost regret that I left you before I had to. Then I found my husband, and of course I got
married. Although I knew I wanted him, I
felt like I couldn’t leave you. But that
is life. He has made me a wonderful life
and is a wonderful husband. I’ll never
forget when I went home for the rest of my belongings after I was married. It was quite a sad affair, wasn’t it? I have missed you very much, and each day I
sit and wonder what you are doing, and I think how I’d love to be near you to
help you out and to laugh and sing with you.”
Mom and Dad
lived in a basement apartment in Tooele while Dad worked at different jobs at
the smelter, surveying for the City and finally a job with the Soil
Conservation Service. They bought new house in 1954 in Tooele at 317 South 360
West. I’m sure they were very proud to
own a new home. They made many life-long
friendships with some of their neighbors.
Grandma
broke her leg in 1955 while she was at the sheep camp with Grandpa. She was not able to get to the hospital
quickly, as a result she had water on the knee.
She needed to have surgery and she was laid up for quite a while. Mom took Lynn and went to Panguitch and
stayed for 7 weeks to take care of her. She
said, “It seems the saddest part of my life came when you got hurt. Although I knew something was going to happen
to you, I could hardly believe when I got word.
Of course I wanted to go to you as quickly as I could. What a terrible feeling to see you look so gray
and old and hurt. I could have cried my
eyes out, for there laid my dearest mother.
If only it could have been me instead.
I felt that the end had come, but after the operation, you got along
pretty well and I was able to go home.
I’m so grateful I was able to go and take care of you. I don’t want you to think for a minute that
you were a burden, because I enjoyed every minute of it and was thankful that I
could do it for you and perhaps repay you a little for what you did for me.” Although Grandma had surgery on her leg, they
were not able to totally correct it, she had a stiff leg for the rest of her
life.
“On August 7,
1956, we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. We named her Karen. She was a lovely baby and our two children
brought us so very much joy.” Mom sang
to me, danced with me, she taught me little poems and rhymes. She played the piano and taught me to sing. She loved to curl my hair in ringlets and sew
me frilly dresses. She was always
pleasant. I remember that when I went to 1st Grade just around the corner, I
had only been there for a little while when I thought about my mom alone at
home and how lonely she must be, and I ran home crying to her. She had to take me back telling me she
wouldn’t be lonely and that I would enjoy school.
On October 15,
1962, our family went to the Logan, Utah temple. Mom said, “It was so wonderful to have our
marriage and our two children sealed to us.
I was expecting our third child at this time.” After
that, they always celebrated that day as their anniversary and not the day in
January that they were originally married.
Mom served as a pianist in the Primary and the Relief Society for most
of her life. She also served as a
teacher in MIA (Young Women’s, the Beehive age). The girls loved her and she loved being with
the girls.
Dad built an
addition onto the house in 1962: a large family room, master bedroom and
laundry room. He also built a garage and
covered patio. “On January 12, 1963, a
very special son was born to us. We
named him Craig C. We were all so proud
of our wonderful little family.” Craig was born on Mom and Dad’s twelfth
anniversary. Mom loved her handsome little
boy with big dark eyes.
“Along with
much happiness we had our sad times. At
age 12 our oldest son Lynn had to have back surgery. It was a very difficult thing for such a
young boy. He was brave and good about
it alI.” The surgery was done at the
Holy Cross Hospital in Salt Lake City, and Mom and Dad traveled back and forth
from Salt Lake to Tooele for several days while he was in the hospital. It was stressful for Mom to see him go
through such a difficult surgery and recovery, plus juggle a 2 year old son, 8
year old daughter, husband, housework, etc.
He had to stay home from school the rest of the year and have a tutor
come for his studies. It was a hard time
physically and socially for Lynn. At
first his friends came frequently to visit and then the visits tapered
off. He had to discontinue all of the
sports he had been participating in. I’m
sure it was easy for Mom to relate to the isolation and disappointment of his disability. Mom wrote, “Lynn loved life, he loved music
and the out of doors so much. He had a
special interest in rocks so he learned a great deal in collecting them. He spent much time hiking and going in mines
and caves. When he was 20 years old he had to have back surgery again. This time seemed even worse than the first
one. We loved him so much and it was so
sad to see him go through so much at such an early age.”
In the
summer of 1970, we had been to Panguitch for our last visit before the school
year started. We had just returned home,
when Mom received a phone call that my grandpa was in the hospital from a heart
attack. Mom got back in the car and
drove to Panguitch and was able to see him before he died. He died on August 23, 1970. Mom wrote, “This was a sad time in my life
because I loved Dad very much.” Though I
haven’t written much about my mother’s relationship with her father, she loved
him very much, and he loved her too. She
was his baby girl. He would always say
when she got to Panguitch to visit for a week or so, “We can rest good tonight
Mama, our baby’s home!” Grandma was
lonely after he died, and it was even harder for Mom to leave Grandma alone in
her house each time we returned home to Tooele after our visits there.
Our family
had many good times together. We had
family friends that we vacationed with.
We went to many beautiful places and had so much fun. We had a travel trailer that we enjoyed
dragging behind us over many miles during the summer. We went to Lake Tahoe, Yosemite National Park,
Pismo Beach, and San Luis Obispo in California; to Ouray and the Mesa Verde in Colorado;
to the Tetons, Jackson Lake, Island Park in Wyoming, to St. George, Panguitch
Lake, and Lava Hot Springs, just to name a few.
We enjoyed going to Flaming Gorge fishing and floating down the Green
River. We had motorcycles (trail bikes)
that we rode all over. Mom was such a
good sport. She didn’t really enjoy
camping, but she didn’t mind camping in the trailer. She rode the motorcycles, she floated the “Green”
with us (even though she hated water and was scared to death), she fished, and
she made it fun for all of us.
Mom was very
particular about her appearance. She had
her hair “done” weekly by the same lady, Karen Dobson, for years. She enjoyed visiting with her and the other
weekly ladies. She tried to preserve her
hairdo all week wearing hair nets to bed and when she went out in the
weather. After she died and I cleaned
out her drawers I found several hair nets.
She was always buying them. I saved
them to remember that nightly ritual.
She enjoyed dressing nicely and having a new “garb” (outfit). Before going to the store, she would always
change her top, make sure her hair looked ok, and put on some lipstick.
When Craig was
in elementary school, Mom applied for the position of a teacher’s aid and got a
job at West Elementary School where Craig attended school. It was perfect
because she took Craig to school with her, he could go home with her, and she
had holidays and summers off. Her
responsibilities were assisting the teacher in whatever the teacher needed: tutoring, bulletin boards, etc. The principal of the school had been my 5th
grade teacher, was a friend of my parents and was aware that Mom could play the
piano. Soon she began holding “singing
time” for every class. She loved
teaching and singing with the kids. She
knew so many songs and she bought music for some of the popular songs that were
on the radio which the kids loved.
Singing Time with Mrs. Rosenberg was a favorite of all West Elementary
students.
I am not
sure if it was Mom’s idea, or the Principal’s, but the school started having a
yearly talent show. The talent show grew
into a full scripted production written and directed by Mom. One year it was a “The Donny and Marie Show”
theme, a popular variety show on television at the time. A boy and a girl were chosen as the leads
(Donny and Marie) and the talent numbers performed by the students were the
entertainment. Mom spent many hours on
the talent show from beginning to end. You
would have thought that this would have been very stressful on her, and maybe
it was at times, but she enjoyed it so much and it turned out so well every
year, it was worth it. So many people I
have talked to over the years remember being in the talent shows at West
Elementary and say how much they loved Mrs. Rosenberg. Often when I went to town with Mom after I
was married and went to visit, we would run into students and they would smile
and say, “Hi, Mrs. Rosenberg!” It seemed
every kid in town knew her. She worked
at the school until 1987.
In the summer
of 1973 my brother Lynn was killed in a car accident in the Uinta Mountains. Mom wrote, “Lynn was in his third year at the
University of Utah and 21 years old, when he was in a car accident and his life
was taken. This was the most terrible
thing I have ever been through. The
days, months and years that followed were almost too much to bear. I had a very hard time accepting this
terrible thing – my dear son, gone forever.
Life without Lynn seemed almost impossible to bear. But I guess we must face all that comes to
us. My dear family helped greatly to
pass the long, empty days. Thank God for
those 21 years (we had him with us).”
Within a
couple of years, Mom was having some chronic health problems related to
stress. She developed ulcerative colitis
and was very sick. She lost a lot of
weight and there was a time when she was hospitalized for a period of about 2
weeks because she was so sick. She was
treated with prednisone and other drugs which caused health problems later in
her life, but helped clear up the colitis.
Eventually she got better, but still had bouts of colitis now and then.
My mother
had tried to and wanted to have my grandma live with us as she was aging, but
Mom’s health would not permit it. The
last year of her life, Grandma had been confined to the Garfield County
Hospital. Mom wrote, “She was very sad
and now I can see that I should have taken her to my home for as long as I
could. They had to amputate her toe and
gangrene set in in. They brought her to
Salt Lake to have her leg amputated above the knee, so this was surely a very
sad time for us all. Poor sweet Mother
having to go through so much. She was so
very weak when she got to Salt Lake.”
Mom had been in to see her and had gone home to Tooele the night before
the amputation. When Mom got home, she
received a call that Grandma had suffered a heart attack and had died. Mom said, “It was a blessing for her to be
free of so much that would have been impossible for her to bear. God was merciful and took her before the
surgery. As I kissed her just after
death, I had a feeling that she was walking away without her stiff leg. I know she has comforted me because she often
commented on how she hated to leave her children. I only hope and pray she realized how very
dearly I loved her and how I admired her courage throughout all her troubles
and illnesses.” Grandma died March 22,
1979.
Mom was
invited to sing with a women’s double quartet in town called “The Joy
Singers.” She enjoyed associating and
singing with this group of women. They
practiced weekly and performed in Christmas and church programs. I think Mom sang with the Joy Singers for
about 9 years (until about 1994-1995) and it filled her life with friendship, music
and joy.
Another
thing that she enjoyed was the association she and Dad had with the Sons of
Utah Pioneers. Dad was one of the charter
members of the Tooele Settlement Canyon Chapter and he was very involved. Most of Mom and Dad’s friends joined and they
met other people they had not known from other parts of Tooele and Grantsville,
and they really enjoyed mingling with them.
There was a monthly potluck meeting and program. Every summer there was a National Encampment
sponsored by one of the chapters. They
went on several trips with this group and had a lot of fun traveling to many
places. Dad had been an officer almost
every year and Mom had been more involved because of that. One year they were named the Outstanding
Couple by the National Sons of Utah Pioneers for all the work that they had
done. Their involvement with the SUP was
a highlight in their life.
In 1983, Mom
finally became a grandmother. She had looked
forward to it for so long and she was a wonderful grandmother. She loved to spend time with them, and she
loved to have them stay with her and Dad.
When we went to visit, she usually had something for them or had
something special planned to do with them.
She liked to take them to town and let them buy a little trinket or a
treat. She appreciated their individual
talents and differences and thought each of them were the best ever. She was proud of their achievements and
activities and always made an effort to attend their programs and activities,
and you can bet she did some bragging about them too.
Mom’s hip deteriorated over the years
to the point that she could barely walk and she had hip replacement surgery in
February of 1993. She was so scared that
she would be crippled again. It was a
difficult surgery and recovery for her but her sister Jean came and stayed for
10 days to take care of her. “What a
wonderful gesture for her to come help us out.
I love and appreciate her so much.
She will never know how very much we appreciated her. She was so kind and loving to me. Just like having Mother back. I hope she knows hope much I love her.” She also said, “Don has been so wonderful to
me. I can never repay him for all he has
done.” After she recovered, she was so
happy she had the replacement. Before, she
could not comprehend how wonderful it would be to not have pain, and to be able
to do things she had not been able to do for so many years.
Mom was a wonderful homemaker, wife
and mother. I remember her washing and
waxing the floors on her hands and knees.
I remember homemade baked bread weekly and dinner on the table every
night. Many of the things she cooked
didn’t have recipes. I wish I had
learned how to bake her white bread and make peanut butter fudge. I loved her cooking and always
enjoyed having a meal there.
She liked the house to be decorated
nicely and she liked to frequently change it.
We had many different color combinations over the years. It’s fun to look at the family pictures and
see the drapes, couches and changes in décor. The house was always decorated for
the coming holiday, Christmas being her favorite. I don’t know anyone who loved Christmas more
than Mom, unless it is me, but every holiday had its own set of decorations and
were put out for display at the appropriate time of year. She also loved to have clothing for the
various holidays – hopefully with sparkle.
You could say that Mom really enjoyed all the holidays.
When I think about Mom, I remember a
cheerful, happy person. She was always
singing or humming a song. She enjoyed
playing the piano. I remember that
during her day she would often go to the piano and play a jazzy song like “Roll
Out The Barrell,” play a couple of more songs, and then go on with her
day. She knew so many songs by heart and
she could play by ear so she was quite talented. She was an enjoyable person to be
around. She seldom had a bad thing to
say about anyone. She didn’t like to
have bad feelings between her and someone else either. If there had been any kind of words between
her and someone, she would be the one to apologize, even if it wasn’t her fault. She was a peacemaker and our home was
peaceful. Mom tried to make everything
right for everyone all the time.
I think the
fact that she was handicapped part of her life shaped her character into being
a loving and caring person. She felt
compassion for people who were in similar circumstances. I remember whenever we were some place and
she saw someone who was crippled, she would stop to talk to them and was always
kind and had words of encouragement. She
taught me to have compassion for people who were in those situations and to
never make fun of someone that was crippled.
She had compassion for anyone who was suffering in some way.
Mom was very
friendly and made many friends over the years, from the neighborhood, from
church, from her job, from the stores she frequented, etc. She had a great sense of humor and liked to
make people laugh. She liked to be the
life of the party or make things fun. I
wish I could remember the many stories of things she did. Since she died, many people have mentioned
her sense of humor and the funny things she said and did. The world was a happier place with her in it.
She had much
love for her brothers and sisters. She
kept in contact with all of them and their families, and made an effort to
visit them wherever they lived. She was
also close to her nieces and nephews.
She often made trips to see family either for a vacation or to take them
a freshly baked item, garden produce, or gift.
Many Saturdays were spent in Salt Lake with her sisters and nieces. She was always sending cards for birthdays,
weddings, or a get well wish.
Mom had bad
health the last few years of her life.
There wasn’t a specific serious problem, like her heart, but she did
have COPD although I didn’t notice any problems from that. She had trouble with her neck and her back,
and she had some trouble with her nerves.
She didn’t have good medical care and had been prescribed a lot of
different medications. She had several
incidents that she fell and didn’t break any bones but was bruised and shook
up. It seemed that she would just recover
from one fall, then would fall again. Dad had Pulmonary Fibrosis, he hardly had any
energy, and could barely keep up with buying the groceries and helping
Mom. He was doing almost everything,
even helping her shower.
At the end
of November 2009 Mom had bladder repair surgery. After the surgery she developed blood clots
in her leg. She was also not able to get
up and walk because of her back, so she was sent to the care center in Tooele for
rehab. I went there to visit and did
what I could do to help her, but she could not go home and she could not go to
the assisted living center she wanted to be in until she could get out of bed
and walk without help.
On December
23, she had been taken to the University of Utah Hospital to see a specialist
about the blood clots in her leg. I met
her and Dad there. The doctor said that
it would take a long time for the blood clots to clear up and that surgery was
not an option. He also said that because
she had them for so long, there was less chance that one would travel and go to
her heart or lungs. She was not herself
that day, she seemed very discouraged, tired, and distant. We hadn’t talked with her about Christmas,
but Dad and I had planned to talk to the care center about having her come home
to be with her family on Christmas Day.
The next
morning about 4 a.m. I received a call from the care center saying that Mom was
“coding” and that they had tried to call my dad but couldn’t reach him. I told them that she had a DNR, but the nurse
said she didn’t have a copy. I hung up
and after a few minutes the nurse called back and said that Mom had passed
away. Mom died on December 24,
2009. Art and I got ready to drive to
Tooele to tell my dad. Dad was very sad,
but he thought it was a blessing that she had passed. The rehabilitation for the blood clots in her
leg would have taken a long time and she had hated being a cripple once and
didn’t want to be one again. We assumed
that she had died as a result of one of the blood clots hitting her lungs, but the
autopsy results showed she died from a post-operative ulcer.
I knew that
it was a blessing for her to be able to pass away without going through much
more pain, but it was so hard to lose her.
I didn’t feel like I had a chance to say good-bye to her. I had so many regrets that I hadn’t spent more
time with her while she was in the hospital and in the care center, but I had
planned to take time off from work to take care of her when she went home. She was so sweet and I hated to think of her
there alone when she died. I regret that
I didn’t spend more of her last days with her.
In most
ways, my mom was just like my grandma.
She was loving, kind, patient, caring, happy, forgiving, loyal,
friendly, and thoughtful. These are just
a few of the attributes I could list.
Her family was #1 in her life, it was the thing that brought her the
most happiness. When my grandma was
about to turn 65 years old, my mother wrote a letter to her because she knew
that she wouldn’t be able to be there with her on her birthday. The letter began, “It is my mother’s 65th
birthday on July 28, and I am taking the time to write a tribute to her to try
and express my deep love and gratitude to the dearest person on earth, “My
Mother.” Mother dear, words cannot
convey how very dear you are to me. You
have always made my life so pleasant that I never remember anything but
happiness in my youth. You were always
so pleasant and happy and kind and loving with us all. You were the kind of mother I would like to
be, but I don’t believe anyone could be more patient and understanding and
forgiving as you.”
I could have
written those very same words about my own mother. I hope I expressed to her how much I loved
her enough that she knew it. Mom also
wrote at the end of her letter, “Now that I have 2 children (the letter was
written in 1958) I only hope that as they grow older and I am old that they can
look back over their lives and remember how very wonderful it was and that they
will love and cherish me as much as I do you.” Oh, but that is exactly the way
I feel. She was the best mother ever! I had a wonderful life. I love her so much and I wish I had the
chance to tell her these very things.
Mom did not
want to die, she wanted to stay with her family and see her great grandchildren. I know that when she passed away that night,
her dear mother was there to take her in her arms. I can only imagine how happy she must have
been to be with her mother and dad again and to be with Lynn, and other family
members she loved. I know my mom will be
waiting for me with open arms on the day that I leave this earthly home. Until then, I’ll try to follow the example
she set for me and be the kind of person she would be proud of and be the kind
of mother she showed me to be.
*Fae was the spelling of her name on her birth certificate. She later changed the spelling to Faye.